20 Online Dating Profile Examples For Women — DatingXP.co
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While most profile tips can apply to both men and women, there are some that are specific to each and can make a huge difference in the success you’ll see. So, ladies, here’s how to write a dating profile to attract men, according to our years of experience and numerous studies we’ve looked into. 1. All you need is to read a bunch of good and bad online dating profile examples to attract men. Examples of Good Profiles If you want to learn how to write a dating profile that will attract the male audience, you should draw inspiration from checking other women’s bios and use the one you like as an online dating profile template. Dating Profile Examples For Women: 1) Your Username: (The Bad & The Good) This is one of the two first things that guys notice about you (the other being your profile pic). So don’t screw this up! Image Credit. The above is obviously a (very) bad example! 20 Online Dating Profile Examples For Women. Will Titterington August 22, 2020 September 30, 2019. Twitter Facebook Pinterest. Hey ladies. So, you’ve signed up to a few dating apps. You’ve uploaded a few pics, but now comes the tricky bit: Writing out a dating profile that catches the eye. For dating online, both men and women need to have a good knowledge about how to write a dating profile. This profile will help people know what kind of person you are and what are your interests and expectations. How to Create a Dating Profile. The most important of all tips is that the profile must be short and concise. These online dating profile examples for women will show you a few ways to use the normal details of your life to create a profile that’s different, unique, and a more accurate depiction of who you are. As you write your own profile, use them for inspiration and keep these tips in mind. Looking for good online dating profiles to copy? I gotchu, boo, with all the online dating profile inspiration and examples you need. Here are some great, easy-to-copy dating profile examples & profile photo optimization tips for gents and ladies. Feel free to mix, match, and edit these dating profile examples.
Why do women put their star signs in their profile?
2020.09.20 05:09 StudentLoanSlave1Why do women put their star signs in their profile?
I’m a straight guy on the dating apps because of covid and noticed a LOT of women put their “star sign” on their profile. I discussed this with my other guy friends and they felt the same way that I did, so I thought I’d share:
Putting your horoscope on your profile comes off as tone deaf. Most men don’t know what “rising libra” or “cancer moon” means and have no motivation to ask. We know it’s a horoscope thing but that’s about it. So if you’re putting that with the intention of men seeing it, you’re showing that you’re out of touch with what men pay attention to.
Most of my friends (with exception of one) said that a girl that outwardly follows that stuff is probably closer to a red flag than a “swipe right”. Personally speaking, the people that I know that follow that stuff are using it to find validation/justify their flaws. Most men grow up knowing not to follow that stuff and it came come off very odd that adult women find that to be a defining enough feature to put in a bio.
So that being said: straight women, why do you put your star sign on your profile? What do you think it achieves? Thoughts? (Yes I understand their are Bi women out there)
2020.09.20 02:28 No_Direction_1990Is this the typical Hinge experience for guys?
So... I started using this app a couple of weeks ago in hopes that it would have better prospects to find and talk to women with similar outlooks due to the preferences and filters, and I've heard it is better quality than Tinder or Bumble. However, I'm not getting that feel so far. I've not matched with anyone from the 5-7ish max likes/comments I've sent daily. Although I am getting 1-2 likes per day, they are from women who are the polar opposite of me (I'm a liberal atheist getting likes from conservative Christians) and/or women that I'm not remotely attracted to from my lifestyle (I'm 5'7" and semi-fit with a normal BMI & BF%, but the likes I get are from inactive women who eclipse me by 50-100 pounds as much as I hate to say stuff like this). The daily recommendations I get are also from women who answered the complete opposite of me in regard to the views and vices questions (again giving me the conservative Christian combo). It just does not feel like the app or people really give a crap about what's listed on my profile. I'm assuming it's a combination of my pics and height that probably don't represent me to attract the women I'm interested in, but is this a similar experience that other guys have? I've never tried online dating until this pandemic, so I'm a bit in the dark on what this is like.
2020.09.19 23:34 polyanxiousHow to find women to date, as a poly woman
In my teens and early 20s I dated women almost exclusively, while in poly relationships. I then entered a monogamous relationship. We broke up, and I've been able to explore new connections for the past five years. I've had no trouble getting attention from cis men, but what I'm really missing is a partner who defines as a woman. Issue is, I have NO interest from women. I consider myself engaging, and average to cute. I'm witty, if not snarky, with a full life. I send first messages always, I've flirted like mad at meets (pre-lockdown) and while I have a male partner we date separately and have no intention of finding 'a third'. He would never be involved and my profile on OKC makes that clear. Anyone got any tips for getting some female attention? Or any women who like women have tips on what makes them think, "hell yeah!" I feel like an awkward teenager.
2020.09.19 23:32 JgraddersOnline dating as a male is long, disappointing and unforgiving and I hate it
This will be different for every male but I hate the whole system of online dating, I can be there for hours trying to get matches with no success, if I'm able to message somebody I will spend a good 5 minutes thinking of a really good ice breaker to start a conversation, 99% of the time it's something to do with her profile so she knows I'm making an effort but 99.99999% of the time, I get no reply, I get it though because women have so many choices and options to choose from so they will of course go for the best, however on bumble when the woman is forced to message the male first, all you get is "hi" or "hey", I hate dating
2020.09.19 23:17 ML_GodzillaHow often should I text back?
I'm a 28 year old straight male with a decent job, average looking, and located in southern California. I get a few matches each week on dating apps (Bumble, CMB,ect) but I rarely ever meet up with of these women in person. I hate messaging on these apps in the first place and I usually enjoy calling over texting. I work a lot of hours at my job ( Between 50 and 90 hours each week) so I have little time to spend messaging during the week. What usually happens is I will try and setup a first date on a Saturday or Sunday and the girl will cancel the day of because "I didn't message her enough and didn't think I was interested". I honestly don't have the attention span to dedicating to get to know someone over a dating app for weeks. Most of the profiles are close to empty and I always prefer verbal conversation. If I had gone on a few dates in person and I felt like there was a connection I would be fine with texting everyday but I hate putting in a bunch of effort to a blank profile. Honestly between work, exercising, and hobbies I have very little motivation to text a potential girlfriend and keep a conversation going before I get to know the other person. Am I being unrealistic? In 2020 should I expect to text girls in dating apps every couple hours or everyday. I put in my profile that I am looking for someone low maintenance but I am starting to think low communication initially is realistic on the dating market.
2020.09.19 22:31 arcammeterI never dated women. Advice?
For background, I am a 30 year old male. I consider myself bi. I have an interest in women physically, however I have thus far only been with other men. Very non-traditional dates as well, never had to fake my personality or impress many people except embellish a few details on dating profiles. Women seem entirely different, they are more selective with who they date. I have lost interest with many members of the gay "community" due to inherent problems throughout. Also I want to change things up. Every dating profile I make on bumbl, tindr, okcupid and pof gets few likes. when I do have interested people they are always obese, mentally unstable or have children. I am in decent shape and consider myself moderately attractive, never having an issue with men. Women seem more aloof, picky, and vein to me. I do not know how to overcome this hurdle. I just want to find an average to somewhat decent women who is of average weigh or physically fit so we can at least work out together from time to time. Any advice? I just need to know what I can do to start at least meeting more women. I have mild social anxiety, but usually warm up to people either after a few dates or when i slowly get to know them over time.
Participants use the excuse of “they pointed a camera at me for 2.5 hours and you’re watching 5 minutes of that interaction” and “you’re not a psychologist” in order to deflect any criticism of how their personalities come through on reality TV. I guess I’m drawn to Brett because for a long time I was a pumped version of him. It was like lingering in adolescence until 33 and then snap off it and become an actual man, capable of meaningful relationships with women. 9 Official criteria for NPD (Narcissist Personality Disorder) A- grandiose sense of self-importance B- preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love C- belief they’re special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions D- need for excessive admiration E- sense of entitlement F- interpersonally exploitative behaviour G- lack of empathy H- envy of others or a belief that others are envious of them I- demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviours or attitudes So, lets see how many of these traits are present in Brett interactions just in the first episode alone. Episode 1 18:03 Brett’s Father: “What’s going on, Brett?” Brett: “What’s going on with you? What we’re you doing?” Brett’s Brother: We’re discussing all your ex-girlfriends. Brett: “Which ones?” NPD: I Episode 1 18:19 Brett: “My name is Brett, I’m 35 and I work for IT in local Government” [Brett’s profile at the beginning of the show reads ‘Certified AWS cloud practitioner’. Then he presents himself as working for IT in local Government, then half through the show the legend on Brett’s job is System Administrator. A System Administrator earns 3-7 times more than a ‘Certified AWS cloud practitioner’ and Brett never tells Olivia ‘I was promoted’ or ‘I have a new job’. In fact, he mentions several times that he’s getting his certification.] NPD: A B Episode 1 18:50 Brett: “After my engagement felt through I did… I went on a lot of dates in a row**, just stacking them up. Like… in the last few years I probably dated about, I’m gonna ballpark it, 45 girls. Yeah.**”[when talking to Olivia about dating Brett refuses to say a number yet for the camera he has no trouble mentioning it, where it will be seen by millions of people] NPD: B E G I Episode 1 19:12 Brett: “I wanna get married at first sight because of the weight that it ads to everything. Everything you do, when you’re doing it with someone and for someone, it feels so much more significant. You’re not just making breakfast; you’re making breakfast for us. You’re not just saving; its saving for us. You’re no just cleaning the house; you’re keep it clean for us. And doing that kind of stuff, its great to feel like every action you do all the time is significant. I think I’m ready to be married for a long time” [now we know that Brett dismisses Olivia’s job, her friends, her lifestyle, her demeanour and so on. I never does anything that he can’t gloat about himself, he never say I, it’s always You’re, even when he’s talking about himself. He also says he’s ready to be married for a long time but in a few years he couldn’t develop anything else than superficial and inconsequential relationships with other women, which is a delusion.] NPD: B D E Episode 1 19:47 Relative: “So what are we doing here, Brett? Brett: “This, this is an intervention, Rory. We all care about you. Just lock the doors” [again, no straight answer. He has to crack a joke about his brother before he gets to talk about him.] NPD: F G I Episode 1 20:29 Father: “Who are these people?” Brett: “A lot less judgemental than you guys!” [Brett’s in the midst of his inner familiar circle yet he feel he has to fend for himself] NPD: C E Episode 1 20:41 Brenna: “Why do you want to get married?” Brett: “Oh. Its just… its not fair that you guys always have someone else at all the events, and I’m stuck with Rory” [Brett keeps evading questions, keeps attacking the perceived weakest element of the table with banter and sarcasm, placing him above his brother] NPD: A C E F H I Episode 1 20:52 Brett’s Father: “How can you know you wanna marry a girl that you’ve never seen based on other people’s opinions of what ya’ll would be? Brett: “As of right now, there are more of the population that gets married by arranged marriages than doesn’t, so statistically you’re the weird one, not me.” [all this sentence is a lie, unless you want to count in rural India and rural China, but it’s a lie that Brett uses to counter his father argument to normalize Brett’s behaviour. Episode 1 59:34 Henry: “What are the chances, ya’ll think, that’d you know the person they with us?” Brett: “New Orleans is a small city, I’ve either seen her before, I matched with her on some app before, or even worse, I’ve swiped left on some app before with her, you know.” [this is another example of Brett placing himself on the controlling side of a relationship. He’s the one ditching already his anonymous future wife, afraid to express any chance of rejection.] NPD: A C E I Episode 1 1:00:18 Brett: “I’m gonna drink you all under the tables. When you’re ya’ll on the ground, passed out... I’ll be up.” [Brett needs compulsively to portray himself as more manly than all the other grooms. He can drink more and still be up, he can take it. Ofcourse, the NEXT night during the bachelor party he’ll go away before anybody else excusing himself with being too drunk and the party being ‘lame’] NPD A B C D F I Episode 1 1:01:36 Brett: “If there’s nothing physical there, there’s no point. I’m not saying that attraction can’t grow. I’m just saying that if she’s coming down the aisle, dressed to the nines, and there’s no attraction there, what possible hope can there be? “ Woody: “Say, when you see her initially, it’s not it, but say, like, your conversation, your conversation is where you want it to be. What does that do for you? https://preview.redd.it/u3geezswj5o51.jpg?width=704&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2a44983e4bb73f4d67447bc75e6a57d33c291f10 https://preview.redd.it/zd477jtxj5o51.jpg?width=704&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=967e3ec6d749e004b68c052b6b5750573582d148 https://preview.redd.it/gfz79g7zj5o51.jpg?width=704&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=438ab44d74c41d7ea970b4e9b2b23dcb43cff6a1 Brett: “If there’s nothing going on, if there’s no spark, no nothing- Oh My Gosh, she’s the best! -Hey you…” [Brett is clearly more intoxicated than anybody else at the table but he keeps asking drinks. He says that if there’s no click on the altar he’ll just drop the marriage yet until episode 11 there’s no click and Brett hasn’t left the experience. Then, just a couple days before being married, he engages with the waitress while cameras are rolling for a reality show, where footage can end up being seen by his future wife. He doesn’t even contemplates rejection (he never does) from her part, its always him rejecting the woman.] NPD A B C D E G I Episode 1 1:03:07 Brett: “You’re right, there’s absolutely no difference between a kiss and sex”[woody is saying that if the woman wants to consummate marriage the man shouldn’t just kiss. Brett comes with kiss = sex while heavily inebriated.] NPD E F G Episode 1 1:09:35 Bennett: “My sister already lives in town. My mum and dad are both coming down.” Friend: “Did they take the news well, or…? Bennet: “All of them did, yeah!” Brett’s Brother: “Brett. How did your dad take it? How did your family take it?” Brett [towards Bennet]: “Is your sister seeing anybody right now? How old is she? [belches]” [again and again Brett uses attacking someone that he perceives inferior to his status to dodge answering a question, attacking Bennet’s, that he again perceives as the one of less status in the group. Then, as to settle the claim, he goes on belching in order for the camera to quit following him. By this time is also barely functioning although he kept bragging, he would be the last man standing before.] NPD: A B C D E F G H I Bennet: “Is my sister single?” Brett: “Yeah?” Bennet: She’s engaged” Bennet’s friend in drag: “I’m his sister and I’m only 18. [everybody laughs] Let me know if it doesn’t work out, yeah?” Brett: [looks down and mumbles] “I’m with you” Bennet’s friend in drag: “Did you see that?” [the moment Brett is retorted by somebody he immediately stays silent and stops attacking others since he knows that the person opposing him will keep attacking if he keeps attacking Bennett.] NPD: G I https://preview.redd.it/fxkp6ts7k5o51.jpg?width=704&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09f6fb72c2cad6b69012deb20bd1f3da640d2337 https://preview.redd.it/9z4zk0dik5o51.jpg?width=704&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e331bd5d85aae773b6b4469e6e2022deef3fc877 https://preview.redd.it/e1h8yojqk5o51.jpg?width=704&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb4bfc761444c9d405215a48f18c5af44d3f66de Episode 1 1:10:37 Brett: [shoves himself against Henry’s friend while embracing her with absolutely no conversation beforehand. Keeps holding her while flirting. The sound of the party clearly diminishes at this point and most of the attendees are looking at Brett and pointing towards him] “Excuse me, scoot over. Brett. Nice to meet you. How are you?” Henry’s Friend: “You’re… Nice to meet you” Henry: This dude’s terrible. Brett: “Why did... why… he’s got a good taste. Why didn’t you mate with someone like him? [now Brett is asking why didn’t Henry’s friends had sex with him. They’re reaction is genuine outrage] NPD: A B C D E F G H I Episode 1 1:10:53 Henry’s Friend: “What???” Brett: “He’s got great taste. What happened?” Henry’s Friend: “We’re just friends.” Brett: “Really?” Henry’s Friend: “Yeah, really am.” Brett: “I don’t believe that.” Henry’s Friend: “Well you don’t have to. You don’t know me!” Brett: “Come on, tell me more.” Henry’s Friend: “Stop. Anyway. No, I’m good. I think this is about you, so let’s keep it about you” Brett: “Yeah, it is. Absolutely” Henry’s Friend: “Your engagement.” [Henry and his friends proceed to leave Brett alone in the bench. Brett proceeds to leave the party with a slumber, dragging his feet towards a pick-up as a way not to be filmed wasted.] https://preview.redd.it/8f8le93wk5o51.jpg?width=704&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e304eebdc3cd0ab27fed4ad4c1b6c641fddaadf NPD A F G H I Brett isn’t someone that’s being villainized by the producers. He gets himself drunk (takes drinks to his suit try-out) and in the whole first episode manages to dodge 14 of 17 questions asked to him, most of the times with aggressive demeanour. He shows nothing but contempt to every single woman he faces on-screen that is not part of his family and even in the eve of getting married doesn't care to portray himself as somebody, like he said earlier “ready to get married years ago”. So no. Brett wasn’t a surprise, less even to the production of MAFS. They knew from the get go he wasn’t disingenuous on how he would treat Olivia so there was no hope that they’d be a couple by the end of the show. It was a scam on Olivia’s belief in true love from the get go. But I guess in the end he's looking down the road, on the long run. He's looking on the long run of several short runs of dates with several women that he'll meet thanks to all the recognition he is getting from MAFS. And for him that's a WIN!
2020.09.19 20:13 throwawayalilupsetloneliness and injustice
I don't know who I'm trying to tell this to, but you gotta stop the bullshit. People always tell you it's bad to think this way or try to give you all sorts of apologia. The dating scene is totally unfair to guys. Girls are at a huge advantage. They can pick and choose because most guys are desperate and they get way too much attention. And if you never get chosen, people either go "oh, there's nothing wrong with you!" or "you should try to work on yourself". To the first, if you ask them then why the fuck do you never get any dates and you're a kissless virgin in your 20's, they go like, "well, you just need to wait for the right one" or some bullshit. "It's their loss if they don't want to talk to you" or whatever. Or they flip and go "if you keep getting ignored or ghosted maybe you should take a look at yourself, after all, if everywhere you go stinks, check if you don't have shit on your shoes" or whatever. Oh, wow, gee, I never thought of that! So what do I need to work on? My personality? Is there something just so fucking wrong with it that I push all girls away? My looks? I'm super fucking healthy and fit, and I groom myself. What the fuck else do you want me to do? Is there something wrong with the shape of my fucking face? Like the fucking redpillers say? "Oh, there's nothing wrong with you!" Then they got into a loop... Or, "Well judging by your being angry right now you must be a bad person in general and suck and be an asshole". Oh wow gee you read me like an open book, I'm just constantly like this and I'm angry for no fucking reason. This is usually people who don't know you at all. Or, "You just gotta try harder! Fix your profile pics/bio/questions/workout/usethisproduct/whateverthefuck". None of it works. "What, do you just want a one-night stand?" Never have I implied that but shit, I would even take that over feeling like I'm completely unlovable because no one ever dates me. And don't get me started with the rare girls that don't swipe left on me, ignore me, or ghost me sooner or later (like after they find out I don't own a car in my early twenties). The ones that friendzone me like "oh, how do you not have a girlfriend? I can't believe that!" or "you're so good to me" or whatever and then they never commit to you. The farthest I ever got was a girl that slipped up and called me her boyfriend and immediately corrected herself and eventually went low contact with me and acted like she was never into me or even wanted to be my friend. Go ahead. Tell me what a fucking asshole I am. Ooooh, what a misogynist. He must be a red/black/purple/blue/rainbow/whateverthefuck piller incel insecure ugly nutcase. I bet he's fat or stinky or whatever, you just gotta shower and work out and take care of yourself! Or oh, some people are just a lost cause, I bet you just have a deformity/ugly face/whateverthefuck. I'm also tired of the opposite where people are like "you're so great/pretty/fit/jacked/smell so nice/polite/kind/wonderful/whateverthefuck" and if you ask for help with this one part of your life that doesn't work out, they just go around in circles telling you nothing useful. I'm trying everything and it doesn't work. I swear. What more can anyone tell me to do? Cold approach random women in public? I've even done that on some occasions. It's never worked. I'm tired of being so lonely and feeling so unlovable while people praise me to heaven and back. It makes me feel like I have zero control over this and life is just unfair and women just suck. There, I said it. Women suck. Fuck them. Sorry not sorry. I don't care if you're offended. It's no wonder there's so many fucked up people who really are red pillers or incels or whatever. I'm not one of those people but tonight I just feel completely fucking hopeless and alone in this regard. This is a basic human fucking need that I am just unable to satisfy and no amount of telling me to wait for it or work on myself or focus on myself is going to make this magically go away. I feel cheated and like life is passing me by.
2020.09.19 15:53 Mandydoo113My friend bragged about cheating on his girlfriend, and I’m not sure if I should tell her.
This man isn’t necessarily a super close friend of mine, but we have known each other fairly well for a few years now. He’s a bit of an odd guy, and the really big thing with him is he can’t really stop himself from blurting things out and has pretty much no social boundaries, so him not so subtly telling me this wasn’t surprising, but it has been bothering me. Just an FYI, some of this sounds ridiculous, but he’s always been incredibly straightforward with me and is an absolutely terrible liar, so I am inclined to believe most of it. We were out for lunch a few weeks ago and he told me he had cheated on his girlfriend in the past, several times, but that he’s moved on from it and gotten better. I told him it’s good to learn from your mistakes and whatnot. He then started implying it was still going on/ or that he was tempted, and I changed the subject quickly. He then proceeded to inform me that his “body count” had gone up by FIFTEEN PEOPLE in the past two years (they’ve been dating for probably 3). This i didn’t know if I should believe and I just rolled my eyes and changed the subject yet again. He then started flirting with our waitress pretty openly. Hes a smooth talker and is normally pretty good with women and flattery but as I said, no social boundaries, and he did it right in front of me after talking about how much he loves his girlfriend for 10 minutes. I managed to survive lunch without cringing into a black hole, and later that night he sent me a screenshot of my tinder profile saying “omg I found you on bumble AND tinder”, and I became pretty sure he was still cheating or at least trying to cheat on her, considering he’s apparently a heavy user of both of those dating apps. Now, a few things.
As I said, he’s a bad liar, so you’d figure his girlfriend would find out yeah? Well, I’ve never met her, but from what I’ve heard she’s incredibly innocent and naive and I don’t think she has any inclination to distrust him or ask about these things, ever. On top of that, he’s in the military and she lives 12 hours away, so he can get away with pretty much whatever he wants apparently without raising any red flags.
Like previously mentioned, I don’t know his girlfriend. Never met her. The most interaction we’ve had is commenting on one another’s instagram posts.
I have no concrete evidence of any of this aside from proof that he’s on tinder.
All things considered, is it really my place to tell her? I figure someone will come along and bring it up eventually since her boyfriend can’t keep his mouth shut, but I feel guilty knowing this poor girl is getting completely played and is completely and totally clueless about it. I just don’t want to end up messaging her and causing serious problems for either of them just for her to not believe me because she doesn’t know me, she has very little reason to trust me, and I don’t have a whole lot of proof. Thoughts? Maybe this is a dumb question but it’s stressing me out.
2020.09.19 15:17 al95engHaving no success and never experienced anything romantic is very damaging to the soul
I'm 24 M (soon 25), and have serious issues with dating. I've posted it about this before, god knows how many times, but I'll explain it once again. I'm on the spectrum, with mild to moderate Asperger's, which has rendered me unable to function normally in a social sense. I can get by, sure, but there have been significant problems. I am just capable of forming and maintaining friendships, and professional relationships/interaction at a basic level, but haven't been capable of getting into a relationship. I was essentially an outcast until the last stage of high school, where suddenly (and rather pleasingly) I started to gain more respect from my peers because I changed my behaviour to be a little more mature. However, I still couldn't relate to them fully and didn't completely "fit in", as it were. This sort of thing continued throughout uni. So, I wasn't able to take complete advantage of those opportunities to socialise and experience adolescence and early adulthood in the normal way, that >90% of people (I'm just making that number up) do. I'm an introvert, so naturally I was never a social butterfly, but like most normal human beings I need interaction. I was able to socialise and maintain friendships at a bare-minimum, most basic level. I always considered romance/dating/relationships as something that was unachievable. I suppressed that desire until I no longer could. Online dating seemed like the only way to go about it, since I have no clue how to initiate with women in real life. Early last year, I joined a bunch of dating apps. To give an idea about how much anxiety the idea of dating caused, when I first asked a girl out, I crafted the message, and hesitated for half an hour before hitting "send". I have gotten better at online interactions since, and tried to improve my game, but obviously that doesn't help when we meet in person, which was obvious when I met every one of the dozen or so girls since. Now, to get to the crux of this post. I have an overwhelming need for basic physical intimacy, above all else. I badly want to hug a woman, make her feel loved, and "protected" (male instinct?). I fantasize about this daily, especially at night, and it consumes me. I have so much love to give, but I'm not afforded the chance to show it, or experience it. I missed out on experiencing and getting used to that like normal young adults, and it is eating me up inside. Sure, I can do it when I'm 80, but it won't be the same. After a certain point, people start to shift to a more mature view of dating and relationships than in one's 20s, without that sort of youthful excitement of experiencing real love and relationships and everything in that domain (not adolescent fake puppy love), something which my mum confirmed. As I get older I will still pathetically wonder about what it could have been like. I think I have finally articulated this well here, sometimes when I try to describe this, I have trouble expressing it when I get emotional, and my thoughts are disorganised and scattered. I have been able to do it here. I am a uniquely boring (to most I would imagine) person. Maybe it's due to depression, but I don't do all that much outside of work, and it tends to be an extension of or something related to work. I use social media, but not in the way that most do. I don't show off my life on it, because frankly, there is not much to show that people would be interested in. Seeing what people I went to school with have experienced, including relationships, is crushing. I feel like my lack of interest in things like partying, clubbing, and other highly social activities means I found/find it difficult to relate to people. This also affects my dating profiles, just not as much. This is not a lack of confidence, it's the reality. On the points I mentioned in the last paragraph: I feel like I can't relate to women in their 20s because of this. I might find their profiles interesting, and build up an image of them before I actually meet them, but then end up being dissappointed when it becomes obvious that I can't relate to them and there isn't any potential there. I certainly don't blame women for not being interested in me. Apologies if this post appears to be that way. I respect that a woman may not be interested in me (which is almost always, sigh), and try to move on. I'm not entitled to anything, but I feel like I deserve a decent shot, like normal people. I understand that life doesn't follow my "timeline", but I don't think that an expectation that something should have happened recently or should be happening now, is unreasonable. I'm 25 years old, for goodness sake. Most people are about 10 years ahead of me, at this point. The generic advice for this type of thing seems to be that I should have tried to socialise earlier, it will happen, work on yourself, etc. Sorry, but all this is bullshit. How was I to navigate the world of dating if I could barely make and keep friends, and was ostracized from my peers? This sort of advice is similar to poor people who are born into their situation being blamed for their situation and for not having a better job to sustain themselves. I hope this erases any doubt in anyone's mind, Asperger's is a debilitating illness that has ruined my life. I have managed to get a good education and a career, but my condition has failed me in terms of experiencing this basic, essential part of life. I won't see a psychologist or psychiatrist (unless I'm in danger of self harm, which I am NOT). I have a deep distrust of them, after they pumped me full of medication that did nothing and charged me a fortune. One of them even charged me so much for a half-hour session (where they essentially did nothing) that the transaction didn't go through as I didn't have that much in that account! Sorry, but they are quacks. I don't want to bother my friends with this sort of thing, and I don't have anywhere else to talk about this, so hopefully someone here will read this.
Betrayed after giving my ex a second chance and lost on how to find closure and move on I (20F) took my ex (23M) back and reconnecting with him was so exhilarating, he told me how sorry he was about last time and how he regretted it (we only lasted a month the first time). Note: I’m sorry if this is long but the story is messy and at the very least an interesting read so thank you to anyone who gets through the whole thing. We met on tinder and had instantaneous chemistry, we got along great (one of the main reasons he came back to me along with him being very fond of my appearance according to him). He was the one who initiated everything, he asked me out and only four days into knowing me he told me “the more I talk to you the better I feel.” I developed feelings for him and thought he did too by how much he talked to me and was attracted. He even deleted tinder a week into knowing me. The first time we FaceTimed it felt so natural, there was no awkwardness, and our personalities just clicked and we were both attracted too. I’ve never had sex before but this was the first guy I wanted it with (even though we never got around to that). He ended it coldly out of the blue one day telling me that I lived too far away (were 50 km apart) and that he didn’t feel the same way, he was just being friendly, he didn’t reciprocate, he didn’t want to date me, I was too clingy and annoying, he didn’t have his own place, and that he just wasn’t interested in me anymore. Worst part is that he did it through text but I begged him to call me and he relented, but he told me that after that I want to move on. The phone call lasted an hour where I cried and he yelled and told me that we wouldn’t work. After the phone call I texted him a selfie of me flipping him off and he asked me “if I changed my mind again would you give up now?” And I said “omg you’re seriously doing this again?” He said “I am attracted to you” and “I said I don’t want a relationship right now.” I told him he hurt me and that I wasn’t his bitch. He told me that when he was ready we could meet but he’d only do it when he says and on his own conditions. However, at that moment we agreed to give each other space and I guess I wanted to cling onto the tiny bit of hope that he would stay. We didn’t talk for a few days aside from sending each other songs. Ultimately, he told me that he made up his mind and that he wasn’t interested and that he didn’t want to meet anymore. I just couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye so I asked him if things changed in the future would he want to meet me. He said he would for sure. I told him that’s why it’s better to leave things open ended. He agreed. The last thing I said to him was okay well text me some other time. And the last thing he said was okay. He never did (well not that I expected). After this text conversation I screamed as loud as I could and cried my heart out. It felt like my heart was cut in two, it was the first time I experienced a break up and he was the first guy I fell for. It was very painful for me and I cried for months on end. I felt like there was an empty hole where my heart was supposed to be and I was just terrified that it was possible for me to love someone this much. I don’t know why I feel this way about him but I can’t seem to shake the feeling that he’s my soulmate despite the negatives on the virtue of the way he makes me feel alone. I tried to move on and I think I got there halfway, I accepted that the distance was something I couldn’t control and that he wouldn’t come back. The most painful part of my breakup with him was not even the fact it ended but never being able to see how it would turn out. I was deeply hurt by all the what ifs and how we could’ve been great together but circumstances fit in the way. 6 months later I download tinder again and 20 minutes into using the app, I see that he’s swiped right on me. I felt completely shocked, my heart literally skipped a beat and I cried myself to sleep that night. I left it for a few days not wanting to swipe left or right, but 4 days in I realize that it’s his birthday today. I swiped right on midnight and messaged him saying I remembered his birthday. The next morning I wake up and see, “it is and thank you for remembering. We should go out officially now. I have my own place as of next week. I’m very sorry about last time, I realized I kind of fucked up, you’re a keeper and I’m glad I found you again. I’m really sorry I didn’t take you for granted. I really want to be with you.” He asked me if I wanted to take a shot and be together. I told him “ugh you know I can’t say no to you.” I just couldn’t believe that the guy I never thought would come back, came back. And so strongly and intensely too (he was flirty with me before but in a relaxed and reserved way). He finally showed me a side of him that was emotional and vulnerable. He told me that he loved me and that he wanted to build something real. I asked him “where was this side of you before then?” He said, “good question, I’m not sure.” He was very intense (a change from his relaxed, chill attitude from last time), he talked about us being meant to be together, how beautiful our future children would be, moving in. He constantly flattered me and always praised my appearance and told me that I was special and different from the other girls in his past, because “I cared about him unlike the other ones.” He was also very sexual and he would always discuss his sexual desires and get me to send nudes so he could masturbate. He did however say that he’s just speaking his mind and that I don’t have to do anything. He did ask me if I consented. I don’t know why he wanted them because he watches porn daily (particularly milfs which doesn’t match my body type). I welcomed this because he made me feel desirable and helped him carry out his fantasies. He texted me all the time and we had such an amazing connection. He even said that he was willing to drive four hours to pick me up and drop me off to his own place (which he never wanted to do before). The honeymoon phase eventually started to ebb away but he still seemed into it. I made him promise me he wouldn’t change his mind because I didn’t wanna relive the past and he swore he wouldn’t and would do whatever he could to make it work. We never got into arguments the first time but there were a few problems starting to emerge. I got upset with him when he refused to add me on Facebook because according to him I was too nosy and I would ask him too many questions about his past and things he wanted to forget. I was hurt by him not wanting me there and I suspected he had something to hide. He repeatedly denied having something to hide and he said it was because I was too nosy. We argued about this back and forth but he still refused (even though he told me he wanted to make up for last time by giving me “whatever my heart desires”). This act didn’t sit well with me and it started to create resentment for him in me (a feeling I didn’t even know was possible to have with someone I’ve loved this much and have wanted to badly). Another thing I have to mention about him is that he’s had 10 exes (longest one being for a year), slept with 20 girls, and he’s only 24. A part of me felt really flattered that he would choose me above all the others (he told me that I was special and he cared about me a lot because I cared about him unlike the other ones) but the other part of me saw this as being a red flag. I don’t know if it’s unfair or not because he was young and not all the relationships were serious but it made me wonder what the issues were on his end. Another thing that became a huge problem was his refusal to get tested. He told me from the very start that he prefers unprotected sex because of the intimacy and pleasure. I got on the pill for him. One day we started off as any other day (happily and lovingly), I told him that I dreamt of us the night before and we were just so happy in it. He said that was so sweet of me and that he couldn’t wait to see me. He then had to go back to work and I went to go do my own thing. I stumbled across an article on sociopaths in relationships (I was irked by the timing and felt off about things especially with the social media stuff) and it discussed all their habits such as love-bombing, subsequent emotional withdrawal, and instability. I started to wonder if it was all a lie and if I was manipulated this whole time. I became kinda afraid of him and a little worried for myself. I started to secretly resent him (I never thought this possible but I’m proud of myself for achieving such a feeling towards him if that makes sense) but I didn’t wanna break it off because I’ve made good memories with him and am still emotionally attached (which was why I took him back). A couple of hours after the “dream” conversation and reading the article, I decided to test him (we were planning on meeting two days from that point and had been taking for three weeks), I told him that I missed a pill. He immediately texted back saying I needed to set an alarm. I then told him I fell asleep before taking it. I asked him, “are you seriously blaming me for that?” He said, “yeah I am. I wanted to see you but you changed your mind and didn’t take the pill like you were supposed to.” I then proceeded to tell him that I wanted him to get tested or we could have condom sex the first time. He said he would rather wait a month because raw sex was important and it wouldn’t be the same otherwise. I was worried about his refusal to get tested and he got really mad at me for missing the pill and for interfering with our plans so soon before meeting. He told me, “Jesus Christ I’m mad. I wanted to see you but now I’m getting frustrated with you. I was supposed to see you this week, just fucking do it and stop worrying about stupid shit! This stupid shit is keeping us apart. Fucking stupid. That’s why I get annoyed. If you told me this was a concern earlier I would be more understanding.” I told him I was caught up in the excitement of reconnecting after so long and wasn’t thinking of practical matters. He said, “you don’t trust me? I have no diseases or anything, you’re not going to get pregnant, just trust me here please.” I said it was risky to have raw sex right now but we could still meet if he wanted to. He said “okay let’s meet then.” To be fair, he never said we had to have penetrative sex the first time meeting, I was the one who kept that up because I wanted to lose my virginity and I wanted to show him I cared by letting him get something out of driving so much. He then cut the conversation abruptly and told me that he wasn’t going to get tested during coronavirus and risk getting sick. Although, he repeatedly asked me when i was going to figure out the birth control and get on the pill. I was really upset by how I did something for him and he wouldn’t for me. I asked him if he still cared and he said, “I’d care more if you just trusted me and met like how we were originally supposed to.” I told him that it wasn’t safe right now and my dad was sick (this was in mid-March while quarantine started). He said he understood and we’d make it work and we’d find another time to see each other. I asked him when he would get tested and he got really annoyed saying that he was really upset with me cancelling on him and how this stupid shut was keeping us apart (“if you want to be with me then just see me and go with the flow”). I told him that I was willing to wait and that he didn’t want to get tested while coronavirus was a thing and risk getting infected (I can see his side of this so I don’t know if it’s a red flag or not). He was anyway very adamant about not having any stds and he told me had no symptoms and hadn’t had sex in a year. I just let it go in the moment but this along with the Facebook thing resurfaced in a few more arguments. One night after another argument he said that he had to be honest and said that “I dong know if we’re a good match lol because we fight and argue a lot.” I said “yeah we do” and then he said “all i want is for me to see you and you forget the testing and Facebook and all the other bullshit.” I told him we could see each other he said to leave it at that then. I was starting to have doubts but I couldn’t bring myself to end it (I have a habit of clinging onto good memories) but he showed me a side of him that I didn’t know about. I could surmise he was selfish because the way he walked out on me the first time was very cold due to the way he did it. I’m glad he came back because I finally got to confront him about it. He told me that he said all those things to get me off the phone because I was very attached and he had to let go at the time because he couldn’t see a way to make it work without having his own place. It was nonetheless a very selfish thing to do, it negatively impacted my mental health and I constantly thought about how confusing it all was and became obsessed with the situation. Some background knowledge on my ex: he comes from a middle-class white background and grew up in a stable family environment. His parents were married until his mother’s death and I am fairly certain he has a good relationship with his family, however he did say insulting things about his sister in law, how she’s annoying, how he would never want a woman who acts like her, and very selfish. I don’t know what this woman is like so I can’t say if it’s valid or not. I also must mention that he only likes women of colour (brown and Asian girls not black women). He always praised my facial features like full lips, brown eyes, and light brown skin tone. I asked him why and he said it’s probably because of interracial porn or that he doesn’t like women who look like his blonde blue eyed mom. He has a university degree and a stable job and now his own place. I’ve talked to a few people who knew him as friends and they all said he was quiet and a friendly guy. However, he was always very bold and talkative with me in our FaceTime conversations. I’ve asked him more than once if he is bipolar and he has always denied this. He always got really upset whenever I brought up what happened last summer and he said that we can’t talk about it constantly or else he can’t do this. He also said that he can’t give me an answer I want anyway because he can’t remember what happened, yet he remembers random details like how I like wearing jeans?! He’s also slept with 20 women and has had ten ex-girlfriends, mostly having unprotected sex and he does not get tested after every new partner. He hates using condoms because he says that he doesn’t enjoy sex with them and they break on him because he can last up to an hour. He is intelligent, eloquent, well-spoken and has studied criminology in university and hopes to become a police officer. He should probably be familiar with personality disorders then. Do people like this know they have a problem? Another random thing is he told me how a video game storyline (red dead redemption 2) made him cry and think about life afterwards. It’s just so strange to me picturing this man cry, so I guess he isn’t afraid of feeling his emotions. Another thing that doesn’t sit well with me at all but I could be overanalyzing, I did some research and I found his mother’s obituary she passed away on March 22nd, on March 27th he uploads a selfie (in which he is wearing a tux so I’m assuming is for the funeral) smiling with the caption “rip momma.” I thought this was a really strange thing to do, if this happened to me I would certainly never post a picture of just myself. He also used this picture as a profile picture for many years and on his tinder and bumble profiles. Why would he do this? One day (I guess I just finally had a breaking point because of thinking about all the old and new emotional baggage) and I texted him saying that his refusal to get tested was a serious problem for me and that if he didn’t want to get tested he could go find someone else who would have raw sex with him no questions asked because it wouldn’t be me. He texts back two hours later saying “alright that’s what I’ll do then. Take care.” Immediately after he responded waves of regret began to wash over me and I told him I changed my mind and I didn’t want him to leave and I really wanted to see him in person and not repeat last time. He agreed and said that “as long as you don’t bring up the Facebook or testing again.” I wasn’t happy about this but resigned because I didn’t want him to leave. The next day he texts me making small talk (our usual) I’m still very resentful of what went down the night before but didn’t want to bring up the testing or Facebook for fear of pushing him away again so I involuntarily unleashed my frustration and anger towards him in other ways. We started off talking about shows and our day but we eventually started to veer off topic to language and politics. He gets really mad at me for calling him sexist and objectifying me. He then very rashly says “I will block your number. I don’t think we should be together anymore. We never have good conversations.” I told him that I was shocked he would say this as we’ve had great times too. He told me that from now on we shouldn’t text as he gets very bad vibes from texting. I told him I wanted us to go back to normal. He said that everything can only be in person or FaceTiming. Our conversations become less and less frequent and he refuses to FaceTime as he keeps telling me that he’s busy and too tired all the time all of a sudden. Naturally I become suspicious and find out that he’s rejoined tinder from one of my friends. He stops initiating any texts with me and I became really sad. I decided not to confront him through text about it because it would be better to do it in person. One day I just couldn’t take his silence and asked him what’s wrong, he said nothing’s wrong and he just needed space right now. I try to resolve our issues with him but he tells me he doesn’t want to talk. So I just leave it and become more resentful for being lied to. One day after like two weeks of not talking I ask him if he wants to FaceTime tomorrow afternoon he says, “okay I will try, I promise.” I text him the next day at the time we agreed to talk and he texts back hours later saying “sorry I took a nap lol.” I send him paragraph after paragraph on how he’s hurting me with his neglect and that we can fix things as long as he puts in the effort. He doesn’t respond and two hours later he texts me a paragraph saying that this wouldn’t work anymore, he doesn’t think were a good fit, he’s just not feeling it anymore, and how he’s kinda been talking to someone else lately too and he doesn’t want to lie to me. He also says the reasons it didn’t work the first time (with the distance) are coming back to him now. This is what angered me he promised me that if I took him back we wouldn’t go through that again. But I wasn’t gonna let him off the hook that easy this time, not after all his grandiose promises. I beg him to reconsider and to see me in person before writing it off. He reluctantly agrees but still doesn’t initiate conversation anymore. I just gave him space after that outburst for a few weeks until a few days ago where I texted him calmly about our problems. He responds saying that his only problem is that I sometimes overwhelm him with messages and often asking the same questions. I ask him to promise me to try and meet in person before my birthday in four weeks. He says he’ll try but it could be difficult with the quarantine. I ask him about the other girls and he says he’d rather communicate these things in person and not through text. I’m honestly not even jealous or mad about this, only sad. I used to feel so jealous of the thought of all the girls who were with him or will be with him but now I don’t. I guess this means something as I’m not resentful in that respect, but I don’t understand why I feel jealous. Is it not even because I’m moving on but I’ve been conditioned by him to be used to bad treatment? One day I messaged a girl he was mutuals with on social media asking her if she could show me his following list and send me screenshots because I was hoping to find answers through other girls he may have talked to as he never gave me any. I wanted to know if he talked to them the same way he talked to me. The girl told him about what I did and he got very angry, he told me that he doesn’t care anymore, wants nothing to do with me, that it was very creepy and intrusive and that he’s done. He said coming back was a mistake and that he wishes the best for me and he’s sorry if he hurt me in the process. He said that he’s with someone else now and has been seeing them for a few weeks (I don’t think this is true not because I don’t want to believe it but because I saw him on tinder the same night this happened, I have a strong feeling he said this so I would let go like how he told me he wasn’t interested in me anymore last time). But either way all that matters is he doesn’t want me anymore. He said he’s pissed at me and this is the last straw. He said I’m annoying as shit, creepy, super clingy and we need to move on. He blocked me. Did I mess up by contacting her? What would’ve happened if I hadn’t and we met in person? I’m regretting what I did because now I have to live with what ifs. However, I do know he treated me unkindly and I let him for those few moments of temporary happiness. I know deep down we have too much bad blood to have a future together now. He’s so unstable. He broke his promises. He told me I was special and different from all the others in the past. He showed me a lot of sincerity and vulnerability when he came back and I believed him. It’s hard to move on when this is the first person I had feelings for and he treated me like this. What do I do with the memories? The good ones and the bad. At this point I don’t know which is more painful. I’m grateful that I never lost my virginity to this guy and never got into a real relationship with him because if he walked out on me after that I don’t know how I would’ve dealt with it. I wrote him a letter for closure, is it wise to send it? At the same time I want to to help me move on and at the same time I don’t because I don’t want to close this door forever. I don’t want to be with him, he doesn’t want me but I also don’t want to not be with him and I keep wishing that we met in another life, another time, another place, where we could be happy. I’m worried I’ll never be truly loved and that I’ll never truly love again. I really did love him selflessly and unconditionally. But he didn’t. I knew I cared more than he did but still I kept on letting him in because I hoped he would properly fall in love with me too. What hurts is how he told me how happy he was to find me again, how it was destiny, how he was hoping that we were meant to be together, he was so crazy about me in the beginning and yet he still had no problem hurting me. I don’t understand how people change their minds, how their feelings change so quickly. I wish I could move on as easily as he could. But I know I’ll have to. I just don’t know how or when. Will someone like him ever truly love anyone? I wonder if he’s ever experienced proper heartbreak before,the kind where you feel as if your heart has been ripped from your chest and miss them beyond belief. That’s how I felt the first time he left. The second time, I had my doubts too, about his character, about his past, the fact he had so many exes, and how disrespectful he was to me before. I tried my best to look past it because I didn’t want to leave someone I loved so much and felt so connected to. I’m worried he’ll always be a part of me, that I’ll always look for his shadows in other guys. He said he was committed and because we had a few fights about him not adding me and getting tested, he started believing we were incompatible. Looking back, he didn’t care about a special bond or connection, he just wanted someone who would be agreeable and fulfil all his demands. These ‘connections’ are disposable to him. It’s just hard to accept that this time it’s finally over. Or it may not be because of his track record. Why are some guys are like this? Does he have mental health issues? I always suspected it. Or is he just too broken to love? Or is he not capable of it in the first place? Do people like him even feel guilty about it? Do you think he’ll feel regret for losing someone who truly loved him? He did last time. What will happen in his future relationships? Is a guy like this ever capable of lifelong love? How do I move on? The first time he left all I did was cry for weeks reminiscing about the good times, the sweet things he said, the connection we had. This time I feel numb and in shock. I can’t think properly. I feel like a part of my brain is in shock. I don’t know what to do and I worry about him being my only soulmate because I’ve never felt this way before and worry I won’t again for anyone. I’ve tried dating other perfectly acceptable nice, funny, attractive (better than him on paper) guys but no one compared to the connection I had with him. Do I just have Stockholm syndrome? Am I just a love-bombed woman? I don’t think he was lying to me about his feelings, I think it was real in the moment but I slowly pushed him away because of my emotional baggage (which he caused anyway). But the fact that he was able to throw away something meaningful over such little things just shows that it never meant much to him. How do I reconcile what my brain understands and what my heart feels? How do I get over this? Being betrayed so deeply? Having promises that he was here to stay, that he just wants to love me and make me happy, that he’s committed completely broken? How will I deal with the trust issues that come from this? Is it really true that people always remember their first love, even if it was toxic and ended badly? Will I truly move on? Should I send him the letter for closure? Or is there some way I can find it on my own? How will I know when I have moved on? This is what I wrote in the immediate aftermath of the breakup. I had a complete breakdown and honestly went insane for a bit. That feeling dissipated pretty quickly this time surprisingly enough, and I was normal (although sad and angry) after like two weeks. On May 31st in the evening (5 days after my birthday and three weeks after our breakup) he messages me the most tone-deaf delusional thing ever. I honestly wonder if he’s trying to trick me or something because it’s so ridiculous, it can’t be serious, right? I wish I could understand his depraved, narcissistic brain. He wrote, “Hey, Which of the people associated with me on Facebook and Instagram did you message about me? Please for my own sake of mind let me know as some of them are ignoring me or not responding to me now I just want to know. Thank you” (I must note that he left out the period at the end and his word choice was very repetitive, I feel like with him I need to psychoanalyze every little thing). I don’t understand why he would send me this, what could be the meaning of this? What reaction could he be hoping for? I know for a fact that the girls I messaged about him don’t talk to him because they told me this. I also know that he didn’t “find someone else” when we broke up. I know that he wasn’t with someone else when he sent me that, but I know that he was looking for a replacement online. I’m not sure how to respond, it’s been four months since I ghosted him and now that he’s kept me unblocked, I don’t know if I should use this opportunity to get the last word in and tell him how awful he is. I am past the stage of being sad and wanting him back. I never felt jealous interestingly enough and I actually feel sorry for the next woman who he will mistreat. I do however want revenge and I want to make him suffer as he made me suffer. Please help me analyze my mental state and his mind and behaviour. I have never felt more alone and empty.
2020.09.19 08:51 justinroark88Why does it seem like women on dating apps such as Tinder or POF who say they don’t want hook up seem like the most “easy” women and actually want to hook up?
Just an observation. I’m a single but divorced 32 M and have used dating apps frequently since divorcing last year. My experience is that I have more success “hooking up” with women who explicitly say on their profiles that they aren’t looking for or don’t want to hookup. Just trying to understand the psychology behind it. Thanks Reddit!
2020.09.19 01:43 bhadby2kI want my LO and his gf to break up.
I feel so guilty and terrible for thinking this way...and it’s not for the reasons you think... I know a relationship between us will never happen. He hates me and has gone through great lengths to avoid me. And honestly I’m so hurt by him that the thought of dealing with that pain again just feels unbearable. Would I make out with him again...yes. Would I maybe have sex with him...yes (we never had sex I’m still a virgin). But 100% I do not want a relationship with him...I’ve started to slowly know my worth and I want someone who puts me first...and I wouldn’t want someone who comes back after breaking up with their gf...like a second choice essentially. But I know if him and his gf break up I would stop thinking he’s perfect. Not just as a person, but also as an ideal partner. I talk about how amazing he becamehere . I’ve never seen a guy treat a girl the way he does. I don’t even want to give other guys a chance because they will never live up. When we were briefly “a thing” or whatever, he was so nice to me. He’d call me beautiful everyday, and told me things that no guy has told me before. God help me if I didn’t put my phone on silent, otherwise I’d get a 5am notification, a good morning message before he went to work (he even did this after he admitted “he wasn’t ready for a relationship”). Most guys my age aren’t very good with their words and are very immature. He was also so faithful to me despite me just being a tinder date. He showed me his phone to prove he wasn’t talking to any girls, and deleted his tinder account upon meeting me. He knew how to kiss, how to hold. I could only imagine how amazing I would of felt if we actually ended up together, I’d be the luckiest girl in the world honestly. I actually started to believe I was as beautiful as he told me I was. He only wasn’t nice to me...when he no longer liked me. And when I see him with his gf...I see the full experience of what would it had been like if I was the chosen one. It’s like I got the measly free trial and she gets the full vip membership. The social media attention she gets on his profiles is unreal (which I also talk about in the link). I have been over 2 months clean of cyberstalking my LO. But based on mutual friend (he’s on private) and the last time I checked, he deleted photos with friends and only has pics with her, including a birthday montage he made for her. I saw that he unfollowed all these models and beautiful women, stopped liking pictures. His icon picture of him smiling like a madman with her at a Mexican restaurant, and he’s wearing a jumper she bought him (I know this because he’d never wear this specific brand). You could even see her lipstick that was on her lip. His bio is just her initials with a rose emoji. Oh and that’s just on Instagram. On Facebook his profile picture is of them looking at each other and smiling (turns out it was one of her birthday dinners we never spent a birthday together but that’s a different story), and he’s made it official. He has a Spotify playlist dedicated to her. His gf went on public for a bit on Instagram and she posted these amazing dates, and often updated her Instagram profile pictures of them on these amazing dates. I can’t help but think how amazing it is outside social media. I can only think of this perfect butterflies and rainbow life that they are currently living. All their friends, family, and even work bosses love them together (I also talk about this on the link). More than any other couple I’ve witnessed. Everyone thinks he’s the “best boyfriend she and anyone has ever had” and comments super wholesome things under their posts. I’ve mention the public TikTok attack heaps of times how his gf’s friend defended their relationship, telling me how loving and committed it was and accused me of trying to break them up. Long story short, I was fighting for closure which I learnt was unnecessary. And despite me wanting them to break up, I’d never try to break up a couple only makes them stronger in my opinion (I still feel guilty as it was seen that way however). Overall, it’s not like I even want them to break up, I just want to find out they have relationship problems so I can not see him as a “perfect person” anymore. All my friends in relationships tell me all their problems. And it’s made me scared to be in a relationship because I know I’ll have to face these problems. I just think that if every guy treated their girl like my LO does, then no relationship will ever have it’s negatives. I know even they probably have problems...but I bet they are really trivial. And I know they will never break up anyway. He’s pretty much marrying this woman, I don’t even think he’s done what he’s done for any girl (e.g. he never posted pictures of him smiling until they were with her). No guy does what he does unless they know they are going to be with the person forever. No one will ever add up to this or ever do this. He’s so well put together, has an amazing social life, and isn’t desperate and weird like other guys. I think his gf has increased his popularity and made him even better. His gf is similar and her family is super rich. I know I’m not a bad person, but I was never on his level. It makes complete sense why he’s with that girl, they both have similar lives and her dad owns a construction company which would help my LO in his carpentry career. I’d say he should get an award for being this great but everyone has praised him enough (hating me in the process). I should be happy for someone...but if he ever broke up with his gf (especially if she dumped him) I’d probably realise that he’s a flawed individual like the rest of us. And the only way for me to move on with someone else is to not place him in this pedestal anymore.
2020.09.19 01:31 justanotherpanda0I want to learn how to approach someone at a bar
Yes, this seems like a dumb thing to ask but hear me out. I'm M 23 living in a city with a pretty cool bar culture that is slowly reopening. I'm also lonely and sad in this pandemic and could definitely do with more friends and potential love interests. But, there are two problems
I have terrible anxiety issues. The last time I asked someone out that I liked, I went home and put ice packs on my face because I was feeling so hot.. not even kidding (she said no later over text, if anyone is interested lol)
I grew up in a culture where dating was almost forbidden (arranged marriages are the norm) and so I never even learned how to talk to the opposite sex romantically. And also I never really dated someone. For some of the aforementioned reasons along with some others.
Mind you, I have no problem talking to women; I have a ton of women friends, but they are all strictly platonic. And ALL (and this is so fucked up for me) my closest friends have been dating for a long, long time so honestly they don't have the slightest idea of how this works. Anyway, I've seen enough movies to know that you see someone across the bar, buy them a drink and start a conversation, and yada yada yada.
But does that actually work?
What is a respectful way of doing this? Because I don't want to be a disrespectful asshole.
And how does this work in times of COVID?
And yes, before you suggest dating apps - I've had terrible luck on them. I'm also working on revamping my profile on the side, but that's a work in progress. So I am going to rule out dating apps for the time being. I honestly just want to talk to fellow humans, connect with them and see where it goes. I'm very open to suggestions.
2020.09.19 00:42 lisagreenhouseGary Michael Hilton, the National Forest Serial Killer, is known to have murdered four people. But his crimes and travels make it hard to believe there weren’t earlier victims. Are there more waiting to be discovered?
Who is Gary Michael Hilton? Gary Michael Hilton, sometimes referred to as the National Forest Serial Killer, was a drifter who murdered at least four hikers in and around national forests in Florida, Georgia, and North Carolina between 2005 and 2008. Hilton was found guilty and sentenced to life in prison in January 2008 for the murder of Meredith Emerson, 24. After that conviction, investigators across the country began looking into unsolved cases that were similar to Emerson’s, and Hilton was charged with and found guilty of three more killings. In 2011, he received the death penalty in a Florida court for the slaying of Cheryl Dunlap, 46. In March 2012, he plead guilty to the murders of John Bryant, 80, and Irene Bryant, 84 and a North Carolina court sentenced him to four consecutive life sentences. Emerson, Dunlap, and the Bryants shared no specific victimology, instead it appears he chose them at random when he needed money. Investigators agree that his were crimes of opportunity, and they believe Hilton may have committed more murders across the southeast United States in the years before his four known victims were killed. Hilton was born November 26, 1946. He had an unstable home life and varied criminal record that stretched from childhood until he was arrested for Emerson’s murder at the age of 61. In 1959, when he was just 13, Hilton reportedly shot his stepfather in a jealous rage over his mother. His stepfather didn’t press charges, but Hilton did spend some time in a mental hospital after the shooting. At 17, Hilton joined the army, and he served from 1964 through 1967, including a tour in West Germany. He was honorably discharged in 1967 after he had been hospitalized for hearing voices and diagnosed with schizophrenia. Hilton was married at least three times, but none of his marriages were long—the longest was just two years. He isn’t believed to have any children. His third wife was a security officer at Stone Mountain Park, a 3,000 acre park near Atlanta that offers camping, hiking, wooded trails, lakes, and family attractions, including the massive peak at its center that is carved with the likenesses of Confederate soldiers. Hilton loved the outdoors. He hiked, camped, and frequently lived in forests and mountains around the south and southeast United States. He loved dogs, too, and had a dog named Dandy (sometimes reported as a golden retriever, other times described as red in color). He never had steady employment; after leaving the army, he worked as a chauffeur in Florida from 1970 to 1972, and he was arrested in 1995 for stealing books he was hired to sell from a door-to-door sales company. From 1997 to 2007, he worked off and on handing out advertisements and doing odd jobs for a Gwinnett County, GA, siding company, but he permanently lost that job when he threatened to kill the company owner if he didn’t pay him $10,000. Hilton also had ongoing legal troubles. He was convicted of a DUI in Florida in 1973; in 1983, he was convicted for carrying an unlicensed gun and a drug charge; he was found guilty of theft and marijuana possession in 1987; and he plead guilty to 21 counts of solicitation in 1995. Samuel Rael, an attorney and filmmaker in Atlanta, admitted that in 1995 Hilton helped him develop the plot for the movie Deadly Run. The movie is about a man who stalks, hunts, and murders women in the woods, a storyline that has similarities to Hilton’s crimes. Rael had defended him in court multiple times since the mid-1980s for crimes ranging from arson and trespassing to solicitation of false charitable donations. Rael said Hilton, whom he considered a consultant on the project, came up with the idea of the main character releasing women into the woods to be hunted like prey and that he also helped select that cast and found the cabin in the woods near Cleveland, Georgia, where much of the movie was filmed. Meredith Emerson’s remains were found approximately 30 miles from that same cabin 13 years later. Investigators have said that Hilton was not considered a suspect in any murders or disappearances during the time the movie was being filmed. Confirmed Victims Victims are listed in the order of their disappearances and murders. However, his final victim, Meredith Emerson, was the first to be linked to Hilton. His implication in her murder helped solve the others. Irene Bryant, 84, and John Bryant, 80, disappeared after driving 20 miles from their home to hike and look at fall colors in North Carolina’s Pisgah National Forest on October 21, 2007. The couple had been married for 58 years and loved traveling, hiking, and being outdoors. Their active lifestyle meant that they were sometimes hard to reach, and it took time for their neighbors and family to realize they were missing. Their son Bob reported them missing on November 2. He drove from his home in Texas to North Carolina to help search for his parents and discovered their vehicle at a trailhead parking lot. Investigators subpoenaed telephone and financial records and discovered that Irene had tried to call 911 around 4 p.m. on October 21 but the call didn’t go through. They couldn’t confirm whether the call failed due to lack of service or interference by another person. Financial records showed a bank withdrawal from their account at 7 p.m. the day after Irene attempted the 911 call. Security footage at the bank in Ducktown, Tennessee, 25 miles away from their vehicle, showed a slender man man in a hooded raincoat using the Bryant’s ATM card. Investigators couldn’t identify the person, but it was neither of the Bryants. Irene’s body was found on November 9, covered with leaves and sticks, just 100 yards from where the couple’s vehicle was parked. She had been killed by a blow to the head and her arms and legs appeared to have also been beaten. Investigators speculated that her attacker had lain in wait on the trail or in the woods just beyond the parking lot. John’s skeletal remains weren’t found until February 5, 2008 when a hunter stumbled across them. On October 26, 2007, Hilton was stopped by a sheriff’s deputy while trespassing on private hunting land. Hilton tells the deputy he’s a paratrooper on field maneuvers, and, when asked if he’s carrying any weapons, he shows the officer an expandable police baton. The officer checks for open warrants and then lets him go. However, Hilton did have an open warrant for a minor 1972 offense in Miami, and he should have been detained. In March 2012, Hilton plead guilty to murdering the Bryants, and he admitted to camping out in the parking lot, scouting for victims. Hilton admitted he had kidnapped Bryant from the parking lot, drove him to the Nantahala National Forest, walked him 30 feet down an embankment, and shot him in the head. It’s believed Hilton wasn’t certain he could control both victims at once, so he chose to kill Irene at the location and then use her death to intimidate and scare John into cooperating and giving him the couple’s ATM PIN number. In the days before the Bryants’ murders, other hikers reported seeing, talking to, and even photographing and confronting Hilton in the Pisgah National Forest in the area where the Bryants were murdered. Along with pleading guilty of ambushing and killing the Bryants, Hilton also plead to robbery and firearms offenses in their case. He again accepted a plea deal to avoid the death penalty and was remanded to serve four additional life sentences consecutively with the life sentence already handed down for Emerson’s murder. The Bryants are Hilton’s first known victims, although he was sentenced in their cases after being tried for his later crimes. Cheryl Hodges Dunlap, 46, was a mother of two grown sons and a nurse and Sunday school teacher, She was last seen alive on December 1, 2007. She had gone hiking alone in Apalachicola National Forest in the Florida panhandle just outside Tallahassee at about 9 a.m. Friends reported her missing after she failed to show up to teach her Sunday school class on December 2 or arrive at work on Monday morning, December 3. Three days after she disappeared her car was found with a flat tire, parked on the shoulder of Highway 319 just outside of the national forest. A search of the area revealed nothing of use. However, an investigation into her digital footprint discovered bank withdrawals. A little over a week after she went missing, authorities released surveillance photos of a man successfully using Dunlap’s ATM card to withdraw money on December 2, 3, and 4, the three days immediately following her disappearance. Police could not identify him because he was wearing a rubber mask, gloves, and hat. Detectives staked out the ATM machine for the next week, but the man never returned. Dunlap’s decapitated remains were discovered near Bloxham Cutoff Road in the Apalachicola National Forest on December 15 by hunters who noticed the presence of buzzards. Because her head and hands were missing, it took a DNA sample to confirm that the remains were hers. Hilton was proven to be in the area when and where Dunlap disappeared because a forestry agent had run his vehicle tag number through the police database on December 7. After Dunlap’s body was found, a hunter also reported coming into contact with Hilton in the forest—driving a white van, wielding a knife and appearing disheveled or homeless. The hunter said he’d warned Hilton that the woods was a bad place to be during hunting season. This interaction allowed the hunter to identify Hilton in a photo lineup. A forestry agent had also questioned Hilton on November 17, 2007 and run his white van’s tag number through a database to ensure it wasn’t stolen. On December 28, another forestry agent interacted with Hilton in Osceola National Forest, about 160 miles from where Dunlap was last seen. Those sightings proved Hilton had been in the area before and then left after Dunlap’s murder. The final item of proof was one of Dunlap’s boots, which Hilton was attempting to discard in the dumpster with Emerson’s belongings when he was initially arrested. Investigators believed Hilton kidnapped Dunlap from the Leon Sinks Geological Area of Apalachicola National Forest, where friends said she had mentioned going to read a book. He likely kept her alive for a few days in order to get money from her ATM card, finally killing her. Investigators say he burned her head and hands in his campfire, then left her vehicle by the road after puncturing the tire with his police baton. There was no physical evidence tying him to the crime, but investigators were able to recover audio tapes on which Hilton had recorded himself talking crudely about women and referencing killing women and hiding things. He said he was a sociopath who could disassociate from the act of murder. Hilton was indicted on Thursday, February 28, 2008 for Dunlap’s murder, kidnapping, and two counts of grand theft. He was found guilty by a unanimous jury in February 2011 and sentenced to death. He unsuccessfully appealed the conviction. Dunlap was Hilton’s third known victim; he was sentenced in her case after being tried and found guilty for murdering his last-known victim, Meredith Emerson. Meredith Emerson, 24, was last seen alive on New Year’s Day 2008, with her dog, a black Labrador retriever mix named Ella. The pair had left home in Buford, Georgia, to hike one of their favorite trails on Blood Mountain. The location is the highest peak in Georgia’s section of the Appalachian Trail and is located on the border of Lumpkin and Union counties inside the Blood Mountain Wilderness and the Chattahoochee National Forest. Concerned after she didn’t return home, Emerson’s friends and boyfriend reported her absence to local police. She was classified as an overdue hiker. The next day, friends and authorities searched the area where Emerson and Ella had been hiking but did not find either of them. A winter storm moved in that day, and authorities had to halt the search. After her disappearance made news, witnesses came forward to claim that they’d seen her hiking with an older man, approximately 60 years old with a red dog, on a spur trail that connects the Appalachian Trail to the Byron Herbert Reece Parking Lot. One caller was a former police officer. He reported that while hiking he’d discovered a police baton, water bottles, sunglasses, a barrette, and a dog leash and treats scattered over an area of disturbed and scuffed ground. He had seen an older man with a police baton walking with a younger woman minutes before finding the items, and he recognized the leash as the one the young woman had been holding. At first, he’d thought they were father and daughter, but the scattered belongings and evidence of a struggle concerned him. While there, he talked with another group of hikers who had seen the man hiding in the woods, but they were unable to locate him after a short search. They gathered the scattered items and left them at a local store, but they didn’t call police at the time. The next day after seeing a report on TV about Emerson’s disappearance, the former officer called investigators to report what he’d seen and found the day before. Also on January 2, John Tabor, a former employer of Hilton’s, called police to let them know Hilton matched the description of the man seen with Emerson on the trail. He said Hilton had called him a few hours before and had apologized for acting erratically and violently toward him, asked him for money, and told him he was near Blood Mountain. He’d asked Tabor to leave him a check at a business Tabor owned, but he never came to collect the check. Investigators noted that Tabor hadn’t called them immediately to inform them of Hilton’s similarity to the suspect or his proximity to the possible kidnapping. Police also recovered surveillance images of Hilton unsuccessfully attempting to use Emerson’s ATM card. Investigators had hope that Emerson was still alive and they were now sure she was with Hilton, so they disseminated Hilton’s DMV photo to the media. On January 4, another witness called police to report that he had encountered an older man and young woman camping near a white van. The witness was driving a lawn care truck when he got it stuck in a stream. He asked the older man for help, but he’d refused. The witness said it seemed like the man was trying to keep him away from the van. When the witness called police dispatch to ask for help getting his vehicle unstuck, the man quickly packed up and left the area in a seeming rush. That same day, Ella was found wandering in a grocery store parking lot in the town of Cumming, Georgia, about 60 miles away from Emerson’s last-known whereabouts. Investigators also discovered bloody clothing, bloody men’s boots, and Emerson’s purse and wallet in a dumpster across the street from the store where Ella was located. A boot, later confirmed to belong to Hilton’s third victim, Cheryl Dunlap, was also recovered from the dumpster. Later that evening, a witness called 911 to report that Hilton—whom he recognized as the suspect in Emerson’s disappearance from news reports—was at a local gas station cleaning out a white van. Police arrived and prevented Hilton from using a vacuum cleaner and bleach on the van’s interior; they also discovered bloody clothing and blankets he had attempted to discard in the gas station trash receptacles. Blood in the vehicle was later matched to Emerson, and Hilton was charged with her murder. During almost five hours of interrogations, Hilton admitted that Emerson fought back against him when he attacked her, yelling and using her martial arts skills to fend him off (she’d earned a blue belt in aikido and was posthumously awarded a black belt). He said that she almost got away, but that he was finally able to subdue her when she lost her footing and stumbled. He said he’d chosen to attack her because she was a woman, and that they’d hiked together for a while before she outpaced him. He then stopped and waited for her down the trail, planning to rob her of her ATM card when she was returning to her vehicle. He admitted to taking Emerson from the parking lot in his van, returning at her request a few minutes later to pick up Ella, who had initially been left behind. He drove her to multiple banks and unsuccessfully attempted to use her ATM; police believed she was intentionally giving him wrong PIN numbers to buy time. Unfortunately, no one at the banks or law enforcement noticed the failed transactions or attempted use of Emerson’s ATM cards until January 4. Eventually Hilton gave up and drove Emerson to a secluded location where, for three days, she continued to give him incorrect ATM PIN codes in an apparent attempt to give rescuers time to find her. Hilton told investigators that he tired of waiting for the correct PIN number, so he told Emerson he was taking her home; however, he admitted that he knew he couldn’t release her since she’d seen his face and vehicle and knew so much about him. Instead, while she was tied to a tree, he hit her over the head repeatedly with a car jack handle to kill her, and then he decapitated her. He covered her body with leaves, then drove to another wooded area more than an hour away, where he discarded her head. He said he was unable to kill Ella and decided to let her go. Disturbingly, in that same interview, when asked about whether it was hard for him to kill Emerson, Hilton stated, “It was hard … you gotta remember we had spent several good days together.” Hilton offered to lead investigators to Emerson’s body if they’d agree to remove the death penalty option. An autopsy confirmed Hilton’s story: her cause of death was officially listed as blunt force trauma to the head, and she’d been decapitated postmortem. He plead guilty to Emerson’s murder on January 30, 2008, and he was sentenced to life in prison with the possibility of parole after 30 years. The case was in the news again in 2010 when a writer for Hustler magazine submitted a request for crime scene photos for use in an article about Emerson’s kidnapping and murder. A judge blocked the request, preventing the Georgia Bureau of Investigation from releasing "any and all photographs, visual images or depictions of Meredith Emerson which show Emerson in an unclothed or dismembered state.” The Georgia House also passed The Meredith Emerson Memorial Privacy Act, preventing “gruesome crime scene photos from being publicly released or disseminated.” The Act, House Bill 1322, stops the release of all images in which victims of crimes appear “nude, bruised, bloodied or in a broken state with open wounds, a state of dismemberment or decapitation.” Hilton’s involvement in Emerson’s kidnapping and murder drew the attention of investigators in other states. While she is believed to be his last victim, the successful investigation into her case resulted in his guilty pleas and sentencing for three other murders. A series of other unsolved crimes is also being investigated for ties to Hilton. Possible Victims Melissa Witt, 19, disappeared from the parking lot of a local bowling alley in Fort Smith, Arkansas on December 1, 1994. On January 13, 1995, her body was found by hunters in a rural area of the same county from where she disappeared. She was naked, and her remains were near a rock that’s been described as headstone-like. Her clothing was never located. Some investigators believe that there are similarities between Witt’s disappearance and death and those of Hilton’s known victims. Judy Smith, 50, is considered a possible victim of Hilton’s because her remains were found near the location where Hilton would bludgeon Irene Bryant a decade later. Smith was last confirmed to have been seen by her husband, Jeffrey, at a Philadelphia hotel on April 10, 1997. The couple flew from their home in Newton, Massachusetts to Philadelphia the day before so that Jeffrey could attend a work conference. After arriving at the airport, Judy discovered she had left her identification at home and would not be able to board the plane. She returned home to retrieve her ID and took a later flight, meeting Jeffrey at their hotel. She planned to go sightseeing while Jeffrey was attending the conference, and Jeffrey confirmed she’d been alive and in their room that next morning. That evening, after the conference meetings had ended for the day, Jeffery could not find Judy. He searched for her and tried to report her missing around midnight, but investigators told him he needed to wait 24 hours. During the ensuing investigation, there were a number of sightings of a woman matching Judy’s description in and around Philadelphia, several of which seemed to describe a person experiencing psychological problems or acting disoriented or disturbed. Other possible sightings were of a woman matching Judy’s description riding the bus, shopping at a mall, and sitting outside a gourmet grocery store. The Smith family found some of the descriptions and sightings credible. On September 7, 1997, about five months after Smith was last confirmed to have been seen, hunters in the Pisgah National Forest about 9 miles from Asheville, North Carolina discovered scattered bones around a shallow grave. Some clothing and personal effects were also located. Cut marks and punctures found on the ribs and clothing suggested the victim had been stabbed. The remains were confirmed to be those of Judy Smith. Strangely, the clothes she was discovered wearing were not any she was known to have owned or reported by witnesses, and the family has no explanation for why or how she got to or was in Asheville. Later reports found that people in the Asheville area had seen Judy or a woman who resembled her. The sightings were deemed credible, but no one claimed to have seen Judy with anyone else. Money and jewelry was found near Judy’s body and belongings, so robbery was ruled out as a motive. Investigators came to believe Smith traveled to Asheville voluntarily, but they’re unsure of why or what happened to her while there. Hilton has been suggested as a possible suspect, but investigators have not publicly linked him to Smith’s case or named as a suspect. Levi Frady, 11, was abducted from Little Mill Road in Forsyth County, Georgia, on October 22, 1997. The next day his remains were found partially submerged in a rainwater-filled pit in Dawson Forest Wildlife Management Area in Dawson County, Georgia. He had been shot three times, once in the chest and twice in the head. Investigators consider Frady’s case open and active. Some have hinted Hilton is considered a suspect, but he has not been publicly named. In April 1998, Jason Knapp, 20, disappeared. He was a student at Clemson University, and he was last known to have been seen by his roommate at around 10:30 p.m. on April 11, watching a movie at their residence. His vehicle was found on April 21 at Table Rock State Park in Pickens, South Carolina. The area is about 30 miles from the university and is very rugged. Investigators found a Wendy’s restaurant receipt inside the vehicle dated April 12 at 1:30 p.m. It is believed he drove to the park on April 12. He had also withdrawn $20 from his bank account that day; his bank cards, including an ATM card, were never found. The area around his vehicle showed no signs of struggle or foul play, and it is unknown whether he drove to the location alone. Searchers canvassed the area around his vehicle for two weeks and found nothing of interest. Patrice Endres, 38, disappeared from her hair salon in Cumming, Georgia, between 11:30 a.m. and noon on April 15, 2004. She vanished during a gap of about 12 minutes between clients. The front door of the salon was unlocked and the cash register was empty, but there was money in her purse. Her lunch was in the microwave and her vehicle was parked at the salon. Her skeletal remains were found in December 2005 behind a church about 10 miles from her salon. A woman came forward with a description of a man in a white van parked in front of the salon, but she later recanted the story. Serial killer Jeremy Brian Jones admitted to killing Endres and dumping her body in Sweetwater Creek in Douglas County, but authorities ruled him out as a suspect after her remains were found 70 miles from that location and when he couldn’t provide any additional information that wasn’t in the public record. Authorities looked at Hilton’s possible involvement, but they say he is no longer considered a suspect. There is no information as to why investigators have ruled him out. Rossana Miliani, 29, lived in Miami, Florida, and disappeared while vacationing in Cherokee, North Carolina. She was last confirmed to have been seen at about noon on December 7, 2005, in the hotel where she was staying. She called her father and told him she was going hiking on the Appalachian Trail. Some reports say she was spotted in Bryson City, NC, where she rented a storage space, shortly before disappearing. Miliani is reported to have bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, but no details are available about whether she was on medication or if she was experiencing any issues at the time of her disappearance. On the two-year anniversary of her disappearance, a clerk at a local store read an article about Miliani and called investigators to report that she’d sold a backpack or bag, possibly a sleeping bag according to some sources, to Miliani and a man who claimed to be a traveling preacher who visited campsites around the Appalachian Trail. According to the clerk, the man was about 60 years old, had hair greying at the temples and may have been wearing a hair piece because his hair looked unusual. The clerk claimed that Miliani appeared to be nervous. A private investigator working on the case released a sketch of the unidentified man in June 2009. The man resembles Hilton, and he’s considered a possible suspect. Neither Miliani nor any of her belongings, including luggage and a camera, have been found; no money has been withdrawn from her bank account since her disappearance, but a deposit was made on December 31, nearly three weeks after her disappearance. No further information is available about that deposit. Some sources say Hilton is known to have stolen and unsuccessfully tried to use Miliani’s bank card, but I was unable to find official corroboration of those reports. A fisherman found the remains of Michael Scot Louis, 27, dismembered and stuffed in plastic garbage bags, in the Tomoka River at Ormond Beach, Tomoka State Park, Florida on December 6, 2007. His torso and legs were recovered, but his head has never been found. Louis was last known to have been seen on November 21 or 22, 2007, but when his remains were found 16 days later, the autopsy estimated he had only been dead for two to seven days. It’s unclear where he was or who he may have been with during the days he was unaccounted for. Days after his disappearance, his Firebird was found parked unusually far from his apartment in the apartment complex’s parking lot in South Daytona, Florida, with the keys still in the ignition and his dirty laundry and guitars inside. Hilton was officially ruled out as a suspect after DNA testing did not implicate him, but some thought he should remain on the list as a potential suspect. In January 2018, Nelci Tetley, 67, was arrested for shooting to death and dismembering her then-boyfriend, Jeffrey Albertsman, 55. It was discovered that she had possibly also dated Louis, although she denied knowing him or having a relationship with him, and she’s been named as a suspect in his case. University of Georgia student Cayle Bywater disappeared from Athens, Georgia on December 29, 2007. She was reported missing after neighbors became concerned when her dog was seen running loose outside her home. Meredith Emerson would be kidnapped three days later from Vogel State Park, about 80 miles north of Athens. On January 11, Bywater’s body was found in an Athens lake. An autopsy listed drowning as her cause of death, but there’s disagreement about how she came to be in the lake. There were no traces of illegal drugs or alcohol in her system, but she had been prescribed medication to treat a mental disorder, reported by some agencies as bipolar disorder. The autopsy also found a previously undiagnosed heart defect, but that could not be proven to have played a part in her death. A photograph taken by an undisclosed individual the day she was last seen alive shows Bywater in Memorial Park walking her dog on leash. Witnesses claim to have seen someone matching Bywater’s appearance walking a dog in the park near the lake where her body was later found, and some said she appeared to be disoriented or chasing the dog. No signs of foul play were discovered on her body or at the scene, but her family insists she did not wander off or commit suicide. In a news article dated January 8, 2008, (https://www.savannahnow.com/article/20080108/news/301089882) her family was concerned that she may have been kidnapped by someone who saw her in a disoriented or confused state and took advantage of the situation. That same news article mentions the kidnapping of Meredith Emerson by Gary Michael Hilton but quotes an investigator as saying the local police department and Georgia Bureau of Investigation did not consider the cases related at that point. It’s unknown if Hilton is now or was ever considered a suspect in Bywater’s case. Are there more? There are dozens of unsolved cases of missing and murdered people in the areas where Hilton was known to or may have traveled or lived. Someone put together this Google Map detailing known and possible victims of Hilton: https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=1v-4PyOHDjE17GhkF6ofEvFWtLes&hl=en&gl=us&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF8&msa=0&z=5&ll=34.77220536527494%2C-83.37685848300629 . It’s a very interesting rabbit hole. I’m unsure who created the map or what criteria they used to include possible victims. If anyone on this sub has information about the creation of this map, please let me know and I’ll include more details. What Don’t We Know? Discussion and Theories Knowing what we do about Hilton and the crimes for which he was convicted, it’s hard to believe that Emerson, Dunlap, and the Bryants are his only victims. Investigators have pointed out that it’s rare for a serial killer to start killing in their 60s, and Hilton’s crimes seem to be the work of a confident killer. His lack of victimology—targeting victims based on opportunity rather than sticking to a certain type of person—and his large geographic footprint, transient lifestyle, lack of family and friends, and remote hunting grounds all point to the possibility that he’s been active for a lot longer than the short spree of four known victims. There are so many missing people and unsolved homicides in the southeast corner of the United States that it’s not hard to think Hilton may be responsible for some of them. What are your thoughts or theories? A note of thanks:u/cspach2005 invited me to do this write-up on Hilton for an upcoming podcast on www.disturbedpodcast.com. They covered my previous write-up on Timothy Bindner (https://www.reddit.com/UnresolvedMysteries/comments/g2mh3i/hes_been_a_suspect_in_the_disappearances_of_at/) in this podcast, https://www.disturbedpodcast.com/bindne, so I was thrilled to contribute again. I’ll add a link to the podcast episode on Hilton once it’s done. Resources: Park Predators podcast about Hilton: https://parkpredators.com/episode-1-the-hunte YouTube video of Georgia Bureau of Investigation interview with Hilton (4.5 hours): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9Tw1iejmzc ThoughtCo blog from July 14, 2019 about Hilton’s crimes: https://www.thoughtco.com/the-gary-michael-hilton-case-971046 Murderpedia entry for Hilton, including text from news articles: https://murderpedia.org/male.H/h/hilton-gary-michael.htm Timeline of Hilton’s life and crimes: http://prairiechicken.blogspot.com/2008/02/gary-michael-hilton-timeline.html Strange Outdoors article from January 23, 2018 about Hilton and his victims: https://www.strangeoutdoors.com/mysterious-stories-blog/2018/1/22/gary-michael-hilton-the-hiker-murders CNN article from 2008 detailing how Hilton helped make a movie about a serial killer: https://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/03/13/hilton.movie/index.html Wikipedia article: Murder of Meredith Emerson: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Meredith_Emerson March 23, 2008 article detailing Hilton’s confession and Emerson’s fight to survive: http://www.nbcnews.com/id/23769881/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/t/killer-says-female-hiker-fought-him-end/ March 11, 201 article about judge barring release of crime scene photos in Emerson’s case: http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/03/10/meredith.emerson.photos/index.html August 2012 opinion piece by the journalist who requested Emerson crime scene photos explaining why he did so: https://www.ajc.com/news/opinion/why-requested-slain-hiker-crime-scene-photos/2PmN2O3oTCOJKq7mBuvgfL/ Wikipedia article about the Judy Smith case: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judy_Smith_homicide Rossana Miliani Charley Project profile: http://charleyproject.org/case/rossana-miliani Article from December 17, 2007 about remains found in Florida, possibly linking them to Cheryl Dunlap: https://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=4010778&page=1 Article from February 28, 2008, announcing Hilton’s indictment in the case of Dunlap: http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/02/28/hilton.indictment/index.html March 27, 2012 article about Hilton pleading guilty to the Byrants’ murders: https://www.blueridgenow.com/article/NC/20120327/news/606022032/HT May 17, 2008 article detailing John Bryant’s autopsy findings: https://www.blueridgenow.com/article/NC/20080517/News/606047031/HT January 4, 2018 article about the Bryants: https://www.ajc.com/news/local/tragic-end-for-unique-couple/PzAHQbeBqHLPzNjGei0nAJ/ December 23, 2007 article about memorial service for Michael Scot Louis: https://www.news-journalonline.com/article/LK/20071223/news/180117745/DN January 24, 2018 article about Nelci Tetley’s arrest, possible implication in Louis’ death: https://heavy.com/news/2018/01/nelci-tetley-accused-dismembering-killing-boyfriends/ January 13, 2017 article commemorating the 22nd anniversary of Melissa Witt’s unsolved disappearance and murder: https://www.5newsonline.com/article/news/local/outreach/back-to-school/melissa-witts-body-found-22-years-ago-investigation-still-open/527-5556593c-22df-4077-b6c3-e7fd7f041f33 Jason Knapp’s Charley Project profile: http://charleyproject.org/case/jason-andrew-knapp April 4, 2010 article about Patrice Endres’ disappearance and murder: https://www.forsythnews.com/local/crime-courts/husband-seeks-closure-in-cold-case/ Google Map detailing known and possible victims of Hilton: https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=1v-4PyOHDjE17GhkF6ofEvFWtLes&hl=en&gl=us&ie=UTF8&oe=UTF8&msa=0&z=5&ll=34.77220536527494%2C-83.37685848300629 (I did not create this map, nor do I know who did or what criteria they used when choosing which possible victims to include. I’ll gladly edit the post to include that information if someone knows more details about the map’s creator or creation.)
I am so tired of the endless matches and boring conversations with men who are obviously only interested in hooking up. Yes, I do get a decent number of matches, but nobody is truly interested in me. Are any women out there also feeling this? I just want genuine conversations and yet everyone I talk to tries to shift it to hooking up. My OLD profiles aren’t really suggestive, so I don’t think I’m giving off the vibes of only looking for casual sex. Is it my age? I’m 20F and maybe it’s just my age group and being in a college town where hook up culture is so prominent. I just feel so unsatisfied. Currently, I’m content and don’t want to seek out any other FWBs, but I just want to connect with someone without the conversation dying or being incredibly dull. How can I stop being so reliant on dating apps to fill the unsatisfied hole in my life?
2020.09.18 19:07 HudsShelfI [29/M] have had doubts with my relationship with my partner[29/F], and I am conflicted.
Obviously a new account for something I am strongly considering. My partner and I started off great, and obviously I'm asking advice of strangers on this subreddit which goes to show how great it faultered. If anything I need advice on staying or going. I tried to make us work. She says she has but if she did we wouldn't have had so many problems. So many expensive, time consuming, and self-sacrificing problems on my part. We need more money, so I work 60 hour weeks. We need to spend more time together, so I take time off and even avoid doing the things I enjoyed. You need to be happy. So I go to work and I do things that make me happy. You're ignoring us. So I stop doing the things that make me happy. Oh yeah she has a kid. 3 years old, I've been there for 2 of those years. A month ago the kid started telling her Mother that she loves me more than she loves her. A big problem with my Partner is that she treats our relationship like it's a competition. Some days she will have more money than me and rub it in my face. She spends more time at home having fun instead of, you know, cleaning and maintaining the house since I can't be there to do it myself since I work 12 hour shifts, days and nights, and on my 4 days off I spend them trying to clean the mess she didn't do herself many weeks ago. Her anxiety overwhelms her and she ignores any attempt I make to help her. Sometimes when we are having fun, I let out some jokes that she takes too seriously. Sometimes she's smacked me on the side of my head so hard that I only heard a ringing in both my ears for several hours. It's one-sided, I'm losing everything I've worked for right now,b ut I have opportunities to dip out coming up and I strongly want to take them, but the kid. I do care about the kid, and she is already heartbroken when I go to work or I can't play with her. If I, someone she calls Dad just up and leaves, that's 2 years of her life leaving too and likely never see her again, because I can't stand the mother. I've strongly considered cheating, just so I can at least feel something embracing. I get flirted with a lot, contacted a lot, and that's a huge confidence boost for me, having gained 10kg/22lbs since the Lockdowns started. So it is nice to know I have something appealing. I'm looking at these dating/hookup apps. Yeah, not keen on that Badoo one, but the Hits I'm getting again are a big confidence boost and I'm strongly considering going through with some of them. I'll feel like shit, cheating, but at the same time happy. My Partner wouldn't cheat on me. I mean she could, but we're both very well known, our relationship is known and scary enough monitored by people waiting for us to break up. Actually one of the women I matched with has a Photo one her Profile mentioning us specifically, which was scary and I swiped left. I hope left is saying Nope. I can't remember now. Fuck. Well that got long fast, but it feels good to rant a bit. TL;DR I'm strongly considering sneaking behind my Partners back to sleep with other women so I feel better about myself. I seem to be attractive to them, not sure how, but it's a huge confidence boost knowing that if we don't work out, I'm not at a loss. I am conflicted because I used to see a future with us, my Partner and I. Now I'm seeing ways out of a one-sided relationship. One of the reasons we lasted this long this year is due to Covid. A friend of mine and his Mum offered me a room at one of their homes if I left her. I was going to take those offers until we went into lockdown and I had no way to transport my stuff. A lot of which is very sentimental to me, and i know my Partner can be petty and destructive. I actually worry that I would find my Computer destroyed if I come home from work, because she would make a false assumption about me because she saw a picture of a woman on my phone once... last time it was using a Reface App and it came up with Amy Whinehouse... She got angry because she saw the Woman... I can't control what pops up on these apps. Even Facebook where I am a member of Photograpghy Groups, which involve Photoshoots of People, particularly women, and she will storm off about it, because she saw it on my phone for a second. So yeah, that's part of the story. I don't know what I'm asking anymore. Do I stay, do I stay and sleaze around town, or do I just leave? I feel like shit no matter what I would do.
2020.09.18 16:36 MFRobotsPOF: Seeing the same faces of the same women
I deleted my POF profile quite a few months ago. I would actually go on and off again from the site from year to year. When I'd return...I'd see the same faces of the women (in my age category, 40's) that I'd already attempted to contact. It seems they remain permanently affixed to the site for as long as they remain spinsters. Sometimes I would say, "screw it, I'll send her another message" and hopefully she wouldn't remember...chances are she won't because the last time I sent her a message, it was probably in the "unread" category. So who knows. Eventually, I'd even see them come up in my "people you may know" feed on Facebook, and we'd even share a couple of friends . It's a smaller community, so it's not surprising I'd eventually see them pop up somewhere else. Had been tempted to contacting them that way. lol. A couple had boyfriends that they were attempting to cheat on via Plenty of Fish. lol I dunno, I figured by the time women reached their 40s, and lived in an area where the dating pool is limited to the "Hills Have Eyes"/ Jerry Springer candidate/People of Wal-mart" variety, the rest of the community is mostly elderly or married....you'd figured with those stats, they'd be willing to meet whomever is not what I listed...at least when they come to realize that the dating pool where they live is limited.
2020.09.18 15:30 Honest_Struggle167Husband (33) obsessed with his long time ago Ex or am I crazy?
My husband (33m) and myself (30f) have been together for almost 5 years and married for 2. He was single for a full year before we dated. His ex from before me has been a weird ghost ever since we dated. I’ve caught him looking at her socials which I thought was weird but tried to keep my cool. She has a boyfriend so I didn’t think anything was going on. WELL the other day he left his Instagram up to show me something and he flipped to the search bar for a minute and all I saw was various porn accounts and in the midst of them his ex’s profile again. My immediate thought was wow he’s actually jerking off to his Ex girlfriend. I hate to be accusatory but I told him I felt very uncomfortable and I wanted him to block her. He claims he was just looking at her profile because his friend told him she gained a lot of weight and he wasn’t attracted to her anymore. I’m not sure what to think. I’ve also gained a lot of weight because we just had a baby. I want to trust him but it’s so weird to see that search amidst naked women. How would you react? TDLR: is my husband still obsessed with an ex?
2020.09.18 14:11 simonsayshmuWomen DO want Dick Picks!
If you are reading this you obviously fell for the click bait! But was it really click bait? ... Lemme explain: Two days ago I replied to an ad on a dating site. There was no picture on the profie (I don't have one in mine either) but the profile indicated a sexless marriage and her desire to fill that need. The first reply to my message was "How thick is your cock?" , I replied with the number (it is thicker than average btw), we exchange two more messages and she is asking for photographic proof now. So, forget about generalizations about whether or not women want dick pics , everyone one is different...
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